The Line

Ok, who ordered the lag in Real Life last week?  A griefer?  Some joker who thought it would be funny?  A newbie who did not know the hassle that lag would be?

What, you say?  Real Life lag?  What in the world am I talking about?  Well, let me tell you all about it.

Wednesday morning dawned cold and cloudy in the Colorado Rockies. By early morning, microscopic grains of (what Coloradans call snow, but normal people call ICE) began drifting lightly down. By late morning, the flakes of ice were larger, looking for all the world like a shaken snow globe. By mid afternoon, the flakes had multiplied. And by afternoon rush hour, the winds had picked up, and it was a full scale blizzard.

This is called "fun".

Let's examine just what makes this sooooo much fun. Colorado, as a state, is fun to begin with. The eastern plains are so flat that you can watch your dog run away for three days. But getting into the Denver area, you run into what is called the Front Range. This may seem like a continuation of the plains but, trust me on this one, it is not.  Compared to the mountains lining the western side of Denver area, saying the Front Range is flat, is like saying a Cessna is like a 474.  Both are planes but that is where the comparison ends.

My normal 45 minute commute (where I drop off my carpool partner half way home) became a harrowing two hour long ordeal. The roads were packed and glazed with ice, SUVs were riding my tailpipe and hills with even gentle grades were all but impassable. I didn't even make it all the way home.  After descending the ridge into my coworker's apartment complex, I informed him he had an overnight guest as I was not going to make it back out of his parking lot.

Let me describe this place to you so you have a better idea.

Looking at the upgrade out of his complex, I am reminded of an old Bill Cosby routine from the 1960's where he describes a street in San Francisco called Lombard Street. Here is how Cosby describes the street:

"They built a street up there called Lombard Street that goes straight up and straight down, and they're not satisfied with you killing yourself that way-they put grooves and curves and everything in it, and they put flowers there where they've buried the people that have killed themselves. Lombard Street, wonderful street."

I have found the Lombard Street of Colorado.  It is a 45 degree incline that twists and turns back upon itself.  Right now, they are unable to plant flowers on it to mark the dead, but I was not about to add to the death toll by wreaking my engine and plowing straight off the side of a foot hill.

So Real Life lag kept me getting home to my husband, my own bed and my warm blanket of kittehs.  Real Life lag is keeping the citrus farmers in Florida from a good crop this year, east coast drives from controlling their spin outs, and coating the English countryside.

But this is just snow and ice, you say. This is nothing like Second Life lag. I want you to compare the feeling of trudging through the snow to the next time you are rubber banding your way across a crowded sim, crossing a sim line to trying to inch your way up hill on black ice, and losing power to sim crashes.

Lag is everywhere, even in Real Life.  Lord help us, but that is one thing that never needed to cross The Line.