Winning and losing in roleplay

In a Gorean setting, Physician Craig encountered an assassin who had taken coin for his murder. Craig's player knew that, logically, his character would stand no chance against a formidable opponent who had been highly trained.

Craig hadn't had much training with weapons. He carried a sword, but wasn't terribly skilled in using it. He was muscled, but didn't have the muscles or the strength the assassin had. So he knew he would have to lose.

However, that didn't mean he would just present his neck to be skewered. He put up a fight, though he was quickly defeated. And when Craig the Physician laid on the docks, blood seeping from his body, the assassin's typist sent him a message, thanking him for the roleplay, and thanking him for handling the encounter in a mature fashion.

Because Craig decided that the fair and logical thing would be to lose, he got some incredible roleplay. Instead of bickering with the other player and suffering though moderator intervention,

Craig enjoyed an hour of solid roleplay. He could have gotten into a debate with the other player about how it wouldn't be logical that someone would kill a Physician, not when that caste was so respected.

He could have insisted on winning. Or he could have power gamed his loss to the extent where he irritated the other player. Instead, in losing, he actually won. He won the opportunity for satisfactory roleplay.

I recently played out a long fight scene in a forum roleplay. Both players knew my character would lose, as the male character was stronger than mine. However, when my character fought, his became Superman.

My character used a can of pepper spray on him, and he wrote that the spray completely missed him. My character stomped down hard on the instep of his foot, and jabbed her elbow back into his stomach. His reply was that both blows again missed the mark.

He had her down on the ground, and was laying over her, when my character "... suddenly jerks her head forward to hit him." His post? "And the mask's purpose makes itself known. It does more than hide his identity; it also spreads out the energy of impacts."

She kicks him hard. He writes that the kicks find no purchase, as he's too close to her. She slugs him in the face, but that's some mask he's wearing. Apparently, it's made of material that blunts all impact to it. Her nails dig into the skin on his shoulders, but alas... he's too toned for her nails to sink in.

This is the part where I roll my eyes.

Sometimes you have to lose, and it's best to do so with grace. But it's even more important to WIN with that same grace. I quickly grew bored with the above roleplay, and though I finished it, it certainly wasn't my most inspired effort.

Roleplay is a bit like sex. Too often, we focus on the end result, when the journey is actually just as pleasant. Our focus shouldn't be on winning or getting our own way even when we lose; our focus should be on using words to paint a picture, to craft a story that all involved can enjoy.